Tired of Ordinary

"God preserve me from living a life which conforms to the general pattern!"

Been reading through Jim Elliot's biography since I got back from Indonesia. These quotes sum up a sentiment i've been feeling as of late. I feel unsatisfied living an ordinary Christian life, hesitating to be sold-out for Christ for fear of being labeled a fanatic. Shouldn't the life of a disciple of Christ look radically different than others?

I've been thinking about my "fellowship" with other believers. We hang out all the time, but do we invest in the eternal? Do we pray for another? Is there an actual sharing of Christ in some way or form? Surely we're impacting one another, but is it positive? Most likely we're just wasting time. I know its not right, but its fear that keeps me from pushing the cultural bounds. Fear of making others uncomfortable by saying "lets pray together". Fear of confronting others regarding their blindspots, thereby missing an opportunity to help sanctify them. Fear of being labeled "holier than thou".

...but what would "love" do? Probably not whats comfortable, but whats best. No longer do I want to do what will please people, but rather what will serve people. This is what i'll strive for.

"We are so utterly ordinary, so commonplace, while we profess to know a Power the twentieth Century does not reckon with. But we are 'harmless,' and therefore unharmed. We are spiritual pacifists, non-militants, conscientious objectors in this battle-to-the-death with principalities and powers in high places.... We are side-liners, coaching and criticizing the real wrestlers while content to sit by and leave the enemies of God unchallenged. The world cannot hate us, we are too much like its own. Oh that God would make us dangerous!

Damnable Good Works

During my Indonesia trip, I realized more and more how often I do righteous acts with unrighteous motives. So many things have become my "righteousness". Good things that I do to make myself my own functional savior. Yet, these good deeds are often done begrudgingly or with improper motives. What are my motives concerning my acts of "righteousness"? I think of Paul's words regarding what should be the proper motive for all that we do...

Gal. 5:6 For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

Paul also explains what actions done with improper motives are...

Rom. 14:23 But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

I'm not saying don't ever do anything if you have improper motives. Still do what you know is right. But when you do those things, repent over your wrong motives, and ask God to change them. Raise your expectations and seek to express your faith through love. Repent of your so called sin, as well as your so called righteousness. When put in this perspective, I believe we have a lot more repenting to do...Check your motives always...and thank God we're saved by grace!

"Irreligious people don't repent at all, and religious people repent only for their "sins." But Christians "repent of their righteousness." We need a deeper, more comprehensive repentance. We must recognize that the reasons for our righteous deeds have been the same as the reasons for our sins. We must admit that the other things besides God are operating as our functional trusts and joy, and that our main sin has been our efforts at self-salvation, at trying to be our own savior."

Tim Keller