What do you think about?

When You're free, what do you think about?

Psalm 69:9 speaks of "...zeal for your house has consumed me." I think about this and such an attitude should be honorable no?

This past year I find myself consumed with spiritual thoughts. I'm constantly thinking. I spend nights laying awake in my bed asking questions like "How can I teach this better?" or "How can I better help my church?, or perhaps "How can I set up this Bible study in a good way?" Not bad things to think about right? I'm constantly thinking of how I can be a good preacher, or teacher, or an overall better Christian. I feel consumed by such thoughts.

Yet, one thing I find myself not thinking about nearly as much as I use to is this....God. I find myself consumed with spiritual things but often God is not in the equation. Even when I read scripture now, I think to myself "How would I preach this?" Or "How can I apply this to those around me?" Things are much more scholarly now.

Sometimes I think I just love Christianity. That doesn't mean I love the God of Christianity. I love spiritual things, but they are often not a lens to see the God behind it. I become so narrow focused, that I fail to see the big picture. I think of the kingdom, but I fail to think of the king. I fail to grow in my love for him or even know him.

I realized that I use to think more about God a whole lot more than I do now. Things were simpler then. I use to look at the sky and the different colors and I use to praise God and ask "what must God be like to create such things" I feel somewhat deceived. Maybe I am. Surely the devil would not want me to have realized this.

In the end, I simply want to think upon God more.